Sister-in-law Pillows

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'And to my sister-in-law, Kate, who thought I was born on the other side of the tracks, I leave my electric train set.'

'What's the matter? -- You told me to make your sister feel at home.'

Wedding speech.

Welcome to MOMtana

"Oh no! Looks like my wife's sisters are here!"

"Okay! In the thirty five to forty age group, who's the fairest of them all?"

Birthing Ball

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

Physical Build...and the Birthday Gift of a Red Suit From His In-Laws

'OK, FINE...we'll invite your sister. You don't have to bite my head off.'

'Trust you to leave my daughter a widow!'

"You're a bride of Jesus now? Well....I hope the guy earns enough to feed a family!"

"Now that President Trump raised the age for retirement I enjoy a lot more free time and it keeps my mother-in-law busy."

"The best thing is, I've come to terms with Roberto's death. I don't think he'd want me to not move on with my life. But sometimes, moving on means staying where you are...with the people you love."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"And no, my sister and I don't count as two hippos."

"Of course what else would it be?"

"When I got married it was for 'Better or worse'. That pretty much covers it."

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

"With that mask on, I can't tell if you're grinning or grimacing about my sister's visit."

"Would you look at that? Your damn sister always did have to be the center of attention."

"Friend or foe?"

"So, the inevitable sequel."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

"That's what I'd give my sister-in-law if she could take care of nice things."

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

"No, John, I don’t remember the ‘Summer of Love.’ But I do recall the spring when you hit on my sister!"

"Does a new Civil War mean we don't have to go to your sister's for Thanksgiving?"

"The lost art of conversation isn't lost at all. It's been kidnapped and held hostage by your sister-in-law."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with my brother's wife. What's the best way to ask her out? Posthumously. No, seriously. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her. That just may end up being a beautiful five minutes.

Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Cleveland. What's YOUR problem?! My deadbeat brother-in-law won't leave. What do I do? For six months, he's been sleeping on my couch, watching my tv, and drinking my Dr. Pepper. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Stalin liberated Eastern Europe and then didn't leave for 44 years. You're going to need a massive arms race, a containment strategy, and Sylvester Stallone. Now he's using my toothbrush.

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with my brother's wife. What's the best way to ask her out? Posthumously. No, seriously. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her. That just may end up being a beautiful five minutes.