Daughter-in-law Pillows

'How will this affect my inheritance?'

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"I need a gift for my new daughter-in-law... ou know, the one who stone my son from me!"

'Bob insists I'm overprotective but cotton wool isn't expensive, so why not?'

'I do want to marry Tim, but I don't want to come between you and your son: I know it's dangerous...'

Frank had connections in very high places.

Bride, Groom, and Mother in Law.

"For heaven's sake, Melissa, she's my mother. I can't tell her to leave."

'Wow, I just told your mother I welcomed her criticism.'

'Look at it this way, you're not losing a son you're gaining an informant.'

'I'm a daughter in-law, a wife, mom to three kids and your asking me if I can multi task?'

"Nothing, but bills and an unsolicited manuscript from your mother."

"Stop that attitude young lady, there are no Angela Merkel's in this house."

"Talk to him, Vlad. Last night I'm sure I head him sucking his own blood."

"Travel restrictions prevented his mum from visiting us and telling me all the things I do wrong....who knew covid had an upside?"

'Honey, before you marry my son you better read the list of his side effects.'

'It's so nice to finally meet you. we can play 'good mother-in-law - bad mother-in-law'.'

'Trust you to leave my daughter a widow!'

"Sorry, mum, we never take the chain off after nine."

"It's your mother!"

"I've used the "Call of the Wild" excuse to escape for a few days: my mother-in-law is visiting..."

"42,629 storage facilities in the US, and my mother-in-law picks the one right next to mine."

"Honestly, I'm as sad as you are that your mother didn't make it."

Daughter In Law

Yummy Mummy

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Mother sends Season's Greetings with her love to you, Lydia. She says how she does so wish to spend the holidays with us but she knows that would mean we would have to drive five hundred and fifty miles to her house, as it is impossible for her to accept

"No offense, but your mother couldn't fry bacon, could't make toast, and could't heat up last week's beans, and her famous raisin pie would make a buzzard tremble."

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

"I told you your mother wouldn’t approve!"

"Amy, will you marry my son?"

Sympathetic Friend. 'Well, my dear, I'm sure your mother will miss you sadly after your having been with her for so long!'

"You'll hear from my lawyer."