Mother-in-law Enthusiast Pillows

'What do you mean we should seek marriage counseling? Do you realise how much we can save just by listening to your mother?!'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Changes at home

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

The Housewife

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

Open other end

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Judge, jury and executioner.

"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

Birthing Ball

Dr. Unzimer's mother appears... "Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"