Mother-in-law Enthusiast Pillows

'What do you mean we should seek marriage counseling? Do you realise how much we can save just by listening to your mother?!'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

'I'm not saying your mother is senile but she just vacuum bagged the cat!'

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

Changes at home

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

Open other end

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

The Housewife

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

Judge, jury and executioner.

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

Birthing Ball

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'