Solar Sipper Pillows

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The last song before the party exploded.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"I'll have the usual."

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

"You had me at alternative milk."

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Lemonade without borders.

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"Here, son, don't forget your glass of fizzy."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

'What a relaxing vacation. I've even lost track of the news cycles!'

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

The youth shows responsibility!

'Don't you have anything larger?'

Psychiatry. Here's your soda --- Would you like a crazy straw?

Homeworking has really been the death of the office party, what do you think?

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

Gin-etic Engineering

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

'They sat in an etape, playing bezique and swilling skookum saloop.'

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

"And could I have a small diet soda please."