Solar Sipper T-Shirts

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The last song before the party exploded.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"You had me at alternative milk."

"I'll have the usual."

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Lemonade without borders.

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'What a relaxing vacation. I've even lost track of the news cycles!'

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

'Don't you have anything larger?'

The youth shows responsibility!

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

'They sat in an etape, playing bezique and swilling skookum saloop.'

Homeworking has really been the death of the office party, what do you think?

Gin-etic Engineering

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

"And could I have a small diet soda please."

Kid to pop vendor: 'Are you fizz Ed?'