Sunrise Sipper Pillows

'Since retiring, Bill's become a light beer drinker - it gets light, he starts drinking beer.'

'I don't even remember how this routine got started.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"I forget to drink."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

"I'll have the usual."

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

Anton's Bar and Grill

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

Lemonade without borders.

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'What a relaxing vacation. I've even lost track of the news cycles!'

'Boozer's Week.'

Scariest Tactics

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

New for Fall

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

'I will make an appointment to visit with a financial planner, dear--right after I get done taking down the Christmas lights.'

Desert Island Fishing

"Hello, I'm Mike McBride of News Thirteen vacation for Harry Short."

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'