Optimistic Sipper Pillows

'Time's up, chuckles.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

We'll have Manhattans...

"I forget to drink."

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'How long you planning on staying up there, Bill?'

"Wine not?"

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"The 'Ex' huh?"

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'Boozer's Week.'

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

Scariest Tactics

Join me in a cosmopolitan?

"It says here that having a glass of wine is good for you."

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

'What did we do before green tea?'

Old man with straw in gin.

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

"Is the vodka fresh?"

Happy 18th Birthday champagne

"I tried sparkling once, but it just gave me a headache."

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'