Optimistic Sipper Pillows

'Time's up, chuckles.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

We'll have Manhattans...

"I forget to drink."

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'How long you planning on staying up there, Bill?'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Wine not?"

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'Boozer's Week.'

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

Scariest Tactics

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

Join me in a cosmopolitan?

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

"It says here that having a glass of wine is good for you."

'What did we do before green tea?'

Old man with straw in gin.

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

"Is the vodka fresh?"

Wine Shop. Would you like the champagne or the cold duck? Give us the bottled waddle.

Happy 18th Birthday champagne

"I tried sparkling once, but it just gave me a headache."

Rose Wine