Software Sensei Pillows

"you want to get out a bit more you do"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'Not that slowly back...'

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"Remedial Karate"

Mock cover of 'Landfill' magazine

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'After a hectic day of trading, some of our traders need to decompress.'

Bicycle Pie Chart

"Dr. Sykes is our expert in anti-matter."

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

"Well the good news is that the new software analysed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product. . ."

"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."

This one needs re-booting!

You say steam, water and snow are all the same thing? Chemistry. Yep -- They're "ice-otopes".

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'

S

"We've replaced the old look with a new look to get a better outlook."

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'Would you like your books cooked?'

"What if global warming is real?"

"That'll be another 50c for my retirement fund."

"Like, hello? nothing's wrong with the software. You hit delete. If you want to answer prayers, hit send."

golf

Alien in Science Fiction Section

Teaching dog to fetch slippers.

"How much did you save this week, Baldo?"

"You are using an unregistered copy of this software...please register..."

The Seam Reaper