Saving Sensei Pillows

"That'll be another 50c for my retirement fund."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"Remedial Karate"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

Mock cover of 'Landfill' magazine

'It would be a kindness to tell he HAS won his Duke of Edinburgh Award.'

'After a hectic day of trading, some of our traders need to decompress.'

Money going to shark and piggy bank.

"you want to get out a bit more you do"

"Dr. Sykes is our expert in anti-matter."

"The sourdough starter says it still believes Covid was a hoax."

"We've replaced the old look with a new look to get a better outlook."

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'I'm gonna go slip into something less comfortable.'

"Sometimes you eat the bear, Ellen. Sometimes the bear eats you."

'Before I give you your bill, Mr Fraser, can I ask you to step onto the crash-mat.'

'Would you like your books cooked?'

"What if global warming is real?"

Alien in Science Fiction Section

"How much did you save this week, Baldo?"

Teaching dog to fetch slippers.

The Seam Reaper

"Actually, no, Sue—four is not a great age."

"No, I paid the electric bill."