Software Installation Gifts

Computer Expert

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Computer Bore

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

Evolution.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Can our software do that?'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

Mac OS 20

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

'You can drop all the hints you like, Jones. We're not buying you a computer.'

Driverless cars rage.

I.T. Fear

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

Hardware and software

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

Early Programmers.

Man feeding his computer money.

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Cloud Computing.