Software Installation Pillows

Computer Expert

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Computer Bore

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

Evolution.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Can our software do that?'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

Driverless cars rage.

I.T. Fear

'You can drop all the hints you like, Jones. We're not buying you a computer.'

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

Hardware and software

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

Man feeding his computer money.

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

Early Programmers.

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Cloud Computing.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'