Software Updates Gifts

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

Mammon Industries - "He says his name is Billy and he's here to update our software."

'Just when you think you've reached the final awareness, they send another update.'

Before and After an Update

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

'That's what you get for not updating acrobat reader.'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"Sorry I'm late, but the computer urgently needed my assistance to upgrade to something about which I have no clue."

"The oracle demands the sacrifice of a virgin or an update of its operating system."

"Here's a great software update. It lets me delete all the features that I didn't want from the last update."

"Fire not bad. Opening up email attachments, no keeping operating system and software updated and banging on your keyboard is bad."

Working on updates. 11% complete. Don't turn off your computer.

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Computer Expert

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

The Modern Novel.

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"I got connected to the internet!"

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

" 'Obselete' means any software the company bought last year for multi-megabucks."

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

'Oh, we haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

'We need a new TV, Dad — it's stupid watching 'Reading Rainbow' in black and white.'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

Man throwing out his outdated TV set.