Software Updater Gifts

"Definitely time for an upgrade."

Before and After an Update

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

"Your new operating system has rendered all your applications and peripherals inoperable"

" 'Obselete' means any software the company bought last year for multi-megabucks."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

The Modern Novel.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

"The oracle demands the sacrifice of a virgin or an update of its operating system."

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

Working on updates. 11% complete. Don't turn off your computer.

"Here's a great software update. It lets me delete all the features that I didn't want from the last update."

A fish jumping from a tank that reads "Tropical fish $5.00" into a tank that reads "Tropical fish $20.00"

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

It's the Fad Herald. I should've upgraded my phone. Hear ye. Today, a special announcement. The following is now in: Hope. Until further notice, that tingly, expectant feeling you're experiencing may be interpreted as optimism, mild euphoria, the illusion of better times ahead. Wow. Now that you mention it. Cool. Wait ... What do you man by illusion? Looking ahead to 2020 trends: Disappointment. Nah. We'll be fine, I'm sure.

Mammon Industries - "He says his name is Billy and he's here to update our software."

"Sorry, but I have to let you all go. I'm getting all of my presents online now."

'Just when you think you've reached the final awareness, they send another update.'

"I think you need to update your mobile device."

'That's what you get for not updating acrobat reader.'

'Which of us can resist the technological advance?'

'Let's just see how intuitive this software really is.'

'It's not directed at you. Most of us have to upgrade our computers a month after buying them.'

I'm posting my jogging time on Facebook. Ah, a "ran some" note!

Are you saying I have no control over when I upgrade my devices? In effect. You've got some kind of subconscious internal clock that drives you to regularly buy a new phone, or TV, or video game console. And there's nothing I can do about it? So it would seem. How freeing. Does this revelation come with a new credit line? Go away.

"Fire not bad. Opening up email attachments, no keeping operating system and software updated and banging on your keyboard is bad."

"I've managed to beat the taxman, I had a coffee in Starbucks, upgraded my Vodaphone and did some shopping on Amazon."

Good morning, Facebook friends!