Soft News Seeker Gifts

The Polite Inquirer

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Corporate Greed.

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

All-Purpose Obamatoon

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Trump Lashes Out at John Bolton

Pickle

Celebrity Gavin Henson

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

The Original Gossip Columns

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

Clinton's book promotion: "Even if just his old girlfriends buy it, we'll make millions."

'That damn racial scandal.'

'Trading was active in rumors, today...'

'Here's veteran pundit Edwin Shrock to sound off og whether any other pundits actually know what they're talking about...'

"D'you have any porn porn?"

"This is not good at all!"

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

We can't hear you! We can't see you! We can't hear you!

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

'Mamma Mia, Les Mis, Leveson inquiry...'

'It's true that I accepted the bribe, seduced the intern, and stole the money, but I did it with the nation's best interests in mind.'

Self made dictator Putin

The Last Thing Out.

'Hey! Have you heard the awful news?!'

Things That Were Going to Save Journalism

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."