Soft Food Seeker Gifts

"He'll have the pasta, make sure it's NOT al dente."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Honest Vending

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Student Food Pyramid

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

'English sushi bar' "Cockles! Muscles!..."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"It's a map to the vending machines."

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

'I'm getting the shrimp - it sounds really yummy!'

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

"You complete me."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"What do you eat for anxiety?"