Soft Food Seeker Gifts

"He'll have the pasta, make sure it's NOT al dente."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

Honest Vending

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Student Food Pyramid

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

'English sushi bar' "Cockles! Muscles!..."

'I'm getting the shrimp - it sounds really yummy!'

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"It's a map to the vending machines."

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

"You complete me."

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"What do you eat for anxiety?"

'Because it's there!'