Savory Seeker Gifts

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Bad for you but to die for

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

Crab with a clown face.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"Fresh pepper?"

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

I wish I'd had the review.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

Some days, we all just feel like a little take-out lo mein.

Secret sweetie drawer...

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"Habanero ..."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Student Food Pyramid

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"It's a map to the vending machines."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

Then I rapidly add cream and butter to the sauce. Ah, get rich quick!

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine