Soft News Aficionado Gifts

"I agree, everything he writes is a snoozefest. But the readers can't get enough of his interest stories."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

Oligarchy

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Meet the Enemy

Our Two Parties, Explained

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

Man Reading Laptop.

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Fear of news.

'...Next election voters will have a choice of democrat, republican and 'generic'.'

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

'What I have to do first?!'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Capital Tours

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Reporter #6: television.

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

Hang in There Democracy!

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Charades