Soft News Seeker Prints

The Polite Inquirer

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

Corporate Greed.

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

The Original Gossip Columns

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

"D'you have any porn porn?"

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

We can't hear you! We can't see you! We can't hear you!

"This is not good at all!"

'That damn racial scandal.'

'Trading was active in rumors, today...'

Clinton's book promotion: "Even if just his old girlfriends buy it, we'll make millions."

'Here's veteran pundit Edwin Shrock to sound off og whether any other pundits actually know what they're talking about...'

'Mamma Mia, Les Mis, Leveson inquiry...'

'It's true that I accepted the bribe, seduced the intern, and stole the money, but I did it with the nation's best interests in mind.'

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

'Hey! Have you heard the awful news?!'

The Last Thing Out.

Self made dictator Putin