Sofa Snacker Gifts

"You're the sport on my telly"

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

Breakfast surreal.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

Cookie Thief

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"Don't sweat the Castilian pronunciation."

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

Usher

Seven Layers.

"Dad, what is a meal?"

'Put the cheesecake and cappuccino on one bill and the health salad on another bill so I can show my wife that I'm watching my diet.'

For the grey nomad, life on the road had its challenges.

Dave figured out if he added green food coloring to his milkshakes everyone just presumed he was drinking a kale smoothie.

Burger Discus

His condition is known as Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'