Sofa Finance Strategist Gifts

I don't trust banks. I keep some of my money right here. It's prudent to have a financial cushion.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Will work for ETFs

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'Are we broke yet?'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'The recession is over, again.'

"I just..."

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Investing your savings

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'The market shifted on me.'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

Davos.

"Let's use the dog's prescription. His refills are cheaper."

Bio, Inc. Should we continue to invest in this promising new cloning technique? Yeah, let's double down on it.