Financial Strategist Wannabe Gifts

'Admit it - you only want a separation to give you time to hide your money!'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'Are we broke yet?'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"I just..."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'The market shifted on me.'

"It failed the stress test."

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

Reverse Mortgage.

"Let's use the dog's prescription. His refills are cheaper."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

Davos.

Bio, Inc. Should we continue to invest in this promising new cloning technique? Yeah, let's double down on it.

'I can't talk right now. I'm discussing strategy with our financial director.'

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

"It's a dependent!"

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."