Financial Strategist In Training Gifts

"But I wanted the tooth fairy to leave me generational wealth in a tax-sheltered vehicle!"

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"I just..."

'The recession is over, again.'

'Are we broke yet?'

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'The market shifted on me.'

"It failed the stress test."

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Davos.

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"Let's use the dog's prescription. His refills are cheaper."

Bio, Inc. Should we continue to invest in this promising new cloning technique? Yeah, let's double down on it.

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'