Society Norms Gifts

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Great coffee, Carole."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"He appears to be evolving differently to us!"

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

'It is Hyena. You said you wanted a fun fur.'

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

"Sorry, these are saved."

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

"You mind if I smoke?"

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"We've been trying on religion to see if it fits, and it does."

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

Sign Reads: Loiter At Your Own Risk.

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."