Societal Norms Observer Gifts

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

"A first-class stamp, please. Something casual."

"Oh, I guess I'll remarry someday. But first I've got to demarry."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Great coffee, Carole."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"He appears to be evolving differently to us!"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."

'What are they all staring at - have I got two heads or something?'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

'So unladylike!'

"Hey man, there are certain things called unwritten laws."

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

What are YOU looking at!?!?

In a bittersweet moment, Bill realizes he isn't actually the last person left on earth.'

Guy comes to a funeral service with a bag of fried chicken.

"Whoops! – Autopilot."

Folie á Trois.

"It's all there. And because of the pressure to conform to social norms I've included a 20% tip."

'Just so you know: If this elevator breaks down, I have no problems cannibalizing your body for my survival.'

"Everyday, we give her 10 karma points for not using her bag to hog the seat beside her and everyday we take 10 away because she feels so smug about it."