Societal Norms Observer Gifts

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

"A first-class stamp, please. Something casual."

"Oh, I guess I'll remarry someday. But first I've got to demarry."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Great coffee, Carole."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"He appears to be evolving differently to us!"

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."

'What are they all staring at - have I got two heads or something?'

"Hey man, there are certain things called unwritten laws."

'So unladylike!'

What are YOU looking at!?!?

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

In a bittersweet moment, Bill realizes he isn't actually the last person left on earth.'

Guy comes to a funeral service with a bag of fried chicken.

"Everyday, we give her 10 karma points for not using her bag to hog the seat beside her and everyday we take 10 away because she feels so smug about it."

'Do you ever have those dreams where you're walking around fully clothed?'

"It's all there. And because of the pressure to conform to social norms I've included a 20% tip."

"So close."