Social Norms Commentator Gifts

'Do I smoke? Just anti-socially.'

"Mind if I smoke?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Great coffee, Carole."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"He appears to be evolving differently to us!"

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Victorian woman at a bar.

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

'It is Hyena. You said you wanted a fun fur.'

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

"Sorry, these are saved."

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

Sign Reads: Loiter At Your Own Risk.

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."