Social Norm Commentators Gifts

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Victorian woman at a bar.

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

'It is Hyena. You said you wanted a fun fur.'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

A Woman Asking The Father's Permission To Marry His Son.

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

"Sorry, these are saved."

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

"We've been trying on religion to see if it fits, and it does."

Sign Reads: Loiter At Your Own Risk.

"You mind if I smoke?"

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."