Social Norm Analyst Gifts

'You were talking to your mother?! But...she's at a funeral!'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Great coffee, Carole."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"He appears to be evolving differently to us!"

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.

What are YOU looking at!?!?

'So unladylike!'

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

"Hey man, there are certain things called unwritten laws."

Guy comes to a funeral service with a bag of fried chicken.

In a bittersweet moment, Bill realizes he isn't actually the last person left on earth.'

"Everyday, we give her 10 karma points for not using her bag to hog the seat beside her and everyday we take 10 away because she feels so smug about it."

"So close."

"Baldo, it's an unspoken rule! Guys don't sit next to each other at the movies!"

"It's all there. And because of the pressure to conform to social norms I've included a 20% tip."

'Do you ever have those dreams where you're walking around fully clothed?'

'Edgar, I'm thinking of stepping beyond the bounds of good taste.'

Scruffy looking man asking whether one should take one's hat into an evening party

"Whoops! – Autopilot."

'Just so you know: If this elevator breaks down, I have no problems cannibalizing your body for my survival.'

He never could fit in.