Societal Norm Analyzer Gifts

Scruffy looking man asking whether one should take one's hat into an evening party

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Great coffee, Carole."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"He appears to be evolving differently to us!"

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

"Hey man, there are certain things called unwritten laws."

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

'So unladylike!'

What are YOU looking at!?!?

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.

End of the World Sale Now On!

In a bittersweet moment, Bill realizes he isn't actually the last person left on earth.'

"It's all there. And because of the pressure to conform to social norms I've included a 20% tip."

"Whoops! – Autopilot."

"Baldo, it's an unspoken rule! Guys don't sit next to each other at the movies!"

"I operate under the assumption that man is basically good."

'Just so you know: If this elevator breaks down, I have no problems cannibalizing your body for my survival.'

'Edgar, I'm thinking of stepping beyond the bounds of good taste.'

'Do you ever have those dreams where you're walking around fully clothed?'

"Everyday, we give her 10 karma points for not using her bag to hog the seat beside her and everyday we take 10 away because she feels so smug about it."

"So close."

He never could fit in.

'Didn't think I even wanted one. I blame it on my biological cuckoo clock.'