Social Norm Commentators Pillows

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Victorian woman at a bar.

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

'It is Hyena. You said you wanted a fun fur.'

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

A Woman Asking The Father's Permission To Marry His Son.

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

"Sorry, these are saved."

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"You mind if I smoke?"

"We've been trying on religion to see if it fits, and it does."

Sign Reads: Loiter At Your Own Risk.

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'