Socialite Soirée Gifts

"Nice dross, darling!"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

"Brian's considering the optics."

A day at the races

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"Your party just totally blew us away."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'

'I like the way you don't say I've had enough.'

'Are you SURE you didn't invite the Brownes around for supper?'

Large Whist Party in Small Room

Sorry, formal only.

"Personally, I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables..."