Social Skills Guru Pillows

"I know - it takes skill to sneak a peek at their tiny tags when you can't remember their names."

"So, what do you do for play?"

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

"I did not ram Preston Sturges down their throats."

"'Host' and Cheese?"

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

"I wish you hadn't ask Bill how business was."

"Come on Hugh, you know you have to wallow in the mud hole before sitting down at the table."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"This one? This one? Listen, make up your mind, or I;m picking out a flea for you."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"I would share, but I'm not there developmentally."

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

Yossi's mother couldn't understand why he was struggling socially.

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

"I just don't know if I have the energy to meet new people."

I knew a guy who was born with a sidelong glance. . .

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

Luckily for Sarah, her training had included a unit on detecting signs of negative body language.

Do you Twitter?

"Are you talking to me?"

"Well, I admire your assertiveness, but you might want to work on your people skills!"

'I'd like to discuss your child's inability to interact with other children around him.'

"Ms. Sims and I have known each other for quite some time, but it turns out we aren't on a first-name basis."

'Oh, please and thank you work okay, but I miss the old days as a baby when a blood-curdling shriek could get immediate service.'

"You're a people pleaser. We could work on that, but then no one would like you."

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

"Today's alpha-lesson is 'become a vapor.' Wherever you are, be it a broom closet or a baseball stadium, carry yourself as if your body fills the entire room. Greet people with your arms out wide. Have a wide stance. A booming laugh. A wide open smile. Becoming a vapor is the best and most legal way to mark your territory."

"It's not my fault he keeps forgetting to bring food to the potlucks."

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

"Waiter, our son is a tasteless schmuck!"