Social Skills Master Pillows

"Today's alpha-lesson is 'become a vapor.' Wherever you are, be it a broom closet or a baseball stadium, carry yourself as if your body fills the entire room. Greet people with your arms out wide. Have a wide stance. A booming laugh. A wide open smile. Becoming a vapor is the best and most legal way to mark your territory."

"So, what do you do for play?"

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

"I know - it takes skill to sneak a peek at their tiny tags when you can't remember their names."

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

'We're not interested in how you work with people, just computers.'

"This one? This one? Listen, make up your mind, or I;m picking out a flea for you."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

Ouija Bored

"Come on Hugh, you know you have to wallow in the mud hole before sitting down at the table."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"I would share, but I'm not there developmentally."

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

Yossi's mother couldn't understand why he was struggling socially.

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

"I just don't know if I have the energy to meet new people."

I knew a guy who was born with a sidelong glance. . .

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

Social Media Strategy Session. The more friends and family people see on our site, the personal information they'll post. Familiarity breeds content!

"Are you talking to me?"

"Ms. Sims and I have known each other for quite some time, but it turns out we aren't on a first-name basis."

'I'd like to discuss your child's inability to interact with other children around him.'

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

"Waiter, our son is a tasteless schmuck!"

'Oh, please and thank you work okay, but I miss the old days as a baby when a blood-curdling shriek could get immediate service.'

"It's context aware, so it can tap your wrist when you're about to put your foot in your mouth."

"You're a people pleaser. We could work on that, but then no one would like you."

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

I'd like to remain friends, Steven, but I've already unfriended you on Facebook.

Eye contact zone next 50 feet.

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

'The problem with being a hermit crab is that I lack social skills...'