Social Skills Enthusiast Pillows

"She's fine over text and chat. I'ts just in person that she can't read emoticons."

Assertiveness Training Institute: 'What are you looking at?'

Socially awkward shipwrecks.

"Boy, I can't stand close barkers..."

'Cool!'

'Barry, actually a kiss on the cheek will do it.'

How to Meet People at a Bar

"So, what do you do for play?"

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

"I know - it takes skill to sneak a peek at their tiny tags when you can't remember their names."

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

'We're not interested in how you work with people, just computers.'

"Come on Hugh, you know you have to wallow in the mud hole before sitting down at the table."

"This one? This one? Listen, make up your mind, or I;m picking out a flea for you."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"I would share, but I'm not there developmentally."

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

Yossi's mother couldn't understand why he was struggling socially.

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

"I just don't know if I have the energy to meet new people."

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

I knew a guy who was born with a sidelong glance. . .

"Are you talking to me?"

'I'd like to discuss your child's inability to interact with other children around him.'

"Ms. Sims and I have known each other for quite some time, but it turns out we aren't on a first-name basis."

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

'Oh, please and thank you work okay, but I miss the old days as a baby when a blood-curdling shriek could get immediate service.'

"It's context aware, so it can tap your wrist when you're about to put your foot in your mouth."

"Waiter, our son is a tasteless schmuck!"

"You're a people pleaser. We could work on that, but then no one would like you."

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"