Communication Skills Enthusiast Pillows

"But first let me give you the good news."

'He gets very defensive.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Campaign for Plain English

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

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"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Dialogue

"Could I ask just one question?"

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

She - Interpreter - He.

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

Letter Collecting Nerd

Ruddy bloggers!

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'