Communication Skills Enthusiast T-Shirts

"But first let me give you the good news."

'He gets very defensive.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Campaign for Plain English

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

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"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Could I ask just one question?"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Dialogue

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

She - Interpreter - He.

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

Letter Collecting Nerd

Ruddy bloggers!

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."