Social Setting Sage Gifts

Al's Saloon - Unhappy Hour.

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

One way only.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

"You're dated look is an absolute tour de force."

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'Did you spill my pint?'

"How come you have your name on your desk, and I get my name on my chest?"

"Reality??? Man, you're hopelessly outdated! Nowadays we have forecasts and statistics."

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

"I'm turned off by the womanizing."

"Meaning of life? Oh, you want my brother. Third mountain over on my right. Me, I'm just a hermit."

'Oh, Goddess of Fashion, speak to me!'

'The new teacher in our school is single and cute but he has commitment issues. He's changed his Internet service provider six times.'

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

'Any other counter-terrorism experience besides driving a junior high school bus?'

The man of the hour is the guy whose wife asked him to wait a minute.