Social Setting Sage Gifts

Al's Saloon - Unhappy Hour.

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

One way only.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

"You're dated look is an absolute tour de force."

"Jeez, Alice, at least Google him first."

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'Did you spill my pint?'

"Reality??? Man, you're hopelessly outdated! Nowadays we have forecasts and statistics."

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

"How come you have your name on your desk, and I get my name on my chest?"

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

"Meaning of life? Oh, you want my brother. Third mountain over on my right. Me, I'm just a hermit."

'Oh, Goddess of Fashion, speak to me!'

'The new teacher in our school is single and cute but he has commitment issues. He's changed his Internet service provider six times.'

"I'm turned off by the womanizing."

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

'Any other counter-terrorism experience besides driving a junior high school bus?'

"Where's my pain? You met her in the waiting room."

The man of the hour is the guy whose wife asked him to wait a minute.