Social Sage Gifts

'Did you spill my pint?'

"Oh, that wasn't me talking. It was the alcohol talking."

'That's it? Just click 'Unfriend'? When I was your age, you had to be mean and cruel to someone's face.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

British savings accounts

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

Twitter censorship

Wikipedia...

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

One way only.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"Are you working on a vaccine for Covid-19?"

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

Justice

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

The 11th Commandment

US Tightens The Iraq War Belt

"I worry that we're headed for a future where you won't be able to earn three hundred times the salary of your lowest paid worker."