Social Security Skeptic Gifts

Office of Social Insecurity.

'I'm afraid it's not gold-plated after all.'

'I'll have to borrow a little but more of your inheritance.'

'I see the truth-in-advertising-people got wind of the proposed privatising...'

'Our retirement plan is to transfer you to our burger joint division, to suppliment your secial security.'

RIP Retirement In Peace

'While you're wearing that smug ‘we don't have kids' look, who's paying into social security?'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

The Mainstream

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

'Too much Omega 3.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

A man without a chicken on his head!

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

'Human beings get all the breaks -- just TRY to get Medicare to pay for a tree surgeon!'

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

'What happens when we run out of gas?!'

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

Sacking a unprofitable patient

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

'I really should have paid more attention to the company's health care coverage options before I accepted a job here.'

'Really! - you have an aim in life - how quaint!'

'Human beings get all the breaks -- just TRY to get Medicare to pay for a tree surgeon!'

"The $350 we received to stimulate the economy is still missing..."