Social Security Aficionado Gifts

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

'George, are you responsible for chopping down this here World Economy?'

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

'I see the truth-in-advertising-people got wind of the proposed privatising...'

Department of Work and No Pension

Fearing insurance rate increases if he had another accident claim, Dave tries a new harness system.

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

"Try getting life insurance when scientists are always supplying you with tobacco."

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

'If you ask me, they're after your bank account number.'

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

A Louis Auchincloss-Type Law firm

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

Misread medical policy.

"How much to insure my artifical leg?"

Waiter - 'You can get personal insurance with the fish.'

"Incoming!!"

"The pensions industry needs to dramatically improve the way we communicate with customers."

"Actually, what doesn't kill you just raises the cost of everyone's insurance"

'This where the meeting for the order of the salmon bowl is?

"The technical aspects of the 'dashboard' are mainly resolved. Now we just have to sort out the peripheral services."

'Can I interest you in insuring against your insurance not paying out?'

"Dad! I made a sand embarrassment!"

'Growing old gracefully ... But frantically trying to keep in step with the cost of living!'

"We decided to hold off with kids until they heave health insurance."

"Plan B was to supplement my retirement income as a party clown, and that brings me to my loan application."