Social Security Enthusiast Gifts

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

'Son, you've been a good tax deduction, but now you must join your kind in the work force and prop up my social security.'

"I'm sorry, congressman, but Mrs. Grebbish gets a bit testy when somebody proposes to mess with her social security and medicare...."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

Pre-Old Blues

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

Old Frogs' Home

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

'George, are you responsible for chopping down this here World Economy?'

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

'I see the truth-in-advertising-people got wind of the proposed privatising...'

"Glen is a one-issue voter....medicare and social security solvency."

Old Dog's Home

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."