Social Services Enthusiast Gifts

"So many FANTASTIC applicants, where do we start!"

'Hi - I'm from the city's self-actualization department.'

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

Cuba applauds its doctors

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

Health care success #4

"It's Meals-on-Wheels, Mrs. Hokenstadt."

Victim of Sequestration!

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

"If you're going to write I think you have to draw upon your own experience."

'Yes, we have 'All You Need To Know About The Health Care Legislation' but it is part of a twelve volume set.'

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

"But on a positive note we've published a pamphlet in 37 languages detailing all the services we can no longer provide."

"This is Jim the Jolly council manager and LOOk it's Caring Clara who likes to work for minimum wage..."

"To describe our budget shortfall as a 'Black Hole' is both simplistic and inaccurate."

'No, Reverend. Community Service does not mean public preaching.'

Client Contact

"I AM a counsellor..!"

'Remember me, Mr. Sanders? I was a student in your social studies class. You told me I was destined to serve the public.'

"I'm sorry, congressman, but Mrs. Grebbish gets a bit testy when somebody proposes to mess with her social security and medicare...."

"Before long you'll be qualified and ready to start work."

"We have reason to believe you're co-rabbiting whilst in receipt of benefit."

'Once you introduce profit into the NHS what will you end up with?'

Child Protection Team: 'Someone applied for the job...'

'You got yourself a job? -- Don't you care what happens to me?'

'... and then, all of a sudden, my fortunes took a turn for the worse...'

"The state proficiency test results are in . . . so today's lesson is how to fill out welfare forms."

"We're closed, I advise you to come back in the morning."

'Son, you've been a good tax deduction, but now you must join your kind in the work force and prop up my social security.'

"So, how was clean-up day?"

"I would go to the library to better myself, but it's closed due to budget cuts."

'I begged, I pleased with him. I told him he'd be wasting his life. Why would he want to open himself up to public vilification? A life of virtual poverty, of shattered dreams!'

"The time when kids left care with a black plastic bag stuffed with their few belongings are long gone..."