Social Services Superhero Gifts

"My gut instinct was to say yes...but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out!"

Cuba applauds its doctors

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

The Waiter

Health care success #4

"If you're going to write I think you have to draw upon your own experience."

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

"It's Meals-on-Wheels, Mrs. Hokenstadt."

'Yes, we have 'All You Need To Know About The Health Care Legislation' but it is part of a twelve volume set.'

'Whose idea was it that every thanksgiving the women watch romantic comedies all day and we get stuck cleaning up?'

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

"So many FANTASTIC applicants, where do we start!"

"I want three of you serving customers all day - two if we get busy."

Working hard to maintain customer relations

"I can't take the job in customer relations. I hate the customers. How can I possibly deal with their relatives?"

"But on a positive note we've published a pamphlet in 37 languages detailing all the services we can no longer provide."

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

"To describe our budget shortfall as a 'Black Hole' is both simplistic and inaccurate."

Japan Is Building Conversation Robots for the Elderly. What Would Robots for Old Americans Look Like?

Complaint Department worker. 'Gosh, I'm good at this job!'

Client Contact

"I AM a counsellor..!"

"Wait a minute - these are just the Ten Commandments of great customer service."

Poor Customer Service

"Before long you'll be qualified and ready to start work."

"We have reason to believe you're co-rabbiting whilst in receipt of benefit."

"How can I help you today?"

Child Protection Team: 'Someone applied for the job...'

'You got yourself a job? -- Don't you care what happens to me?'

"We're closed, I advise you to come back in the morning."

"The state proficiency test results are in . . . so today's lesson is how to fill out welfare forms."