Social Services Gifts

'Yes, we have 'All You Need To Know About The Health Care Legislation' but it is part of a twelve volume set.'

'It's our latest caseload management system. . . we just keep adding files until he falls over!'

Undervalued,underpaid,worried about my future, still enough of my problems...what can I do for you?

"Brings a whole new meaning to the idea of 'burnout'."

'When you've finished feeding your mum there's a triple by-pass in theatre we could use a hand with!'

"We have reason to believe you're co-rabbiting whilst in receipt of benefit."

'The council is sending a Family Lifestyles Officer to monitor our behaviour patterns.'

'You got yourself a job? -- Don't you care what happens to me?'

"The government is demanding greater accountability, could you write me a memo outlining how you buggered up the entire social care system!"

"I can assure you that all talk of a funding crisis in social services is greatly exaggerted."

DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC ASSISTANCE, 'I've been getting regular welfare checks for the past sixteen years, and now, all of a sudden, you say I'm INELIGIBLE?'

Health care success #4

New job in social services

'Run! 73 million baby boomers are about to retire!'

'You've been out of social work for a while. It's vital that you get back up to speed before you start seeing clients.'

'Hi - I'm from the city's self-actualization department.'

Welfare Department:'We don't have a 'fast track'!'

"We're closed, I advise you to come back in the morning."

Bureaucracy and family

"But on a positive note we've published a pamphlet in 37 languages detailing all the services we can no longer provide."

"I AM a counsellor..!"

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

"I've been really worried about the huge numbers of hours you've been doing recently. . . we can't really let it carry on unless you start paying towards the electricity you're using!"

Cuba applauds its doctors

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

'You look nervous, kid - this your first time?'

Evolution of the social worker

'The Benefits Agency is prepared to be flexible, but only under certain limited, clearly defined circumstances...'

"The state proficiency test results are in . . . so today's lesson is how to fill out welfare forms."

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

"To describe our budget shortfall as a 'Black Hole' is both simplistic and inaccurate."

"The government is totally committed on addressing the needs of the individual client needing care services....this for example is individual no. 13476.GB/43."

"Social work is all about clear communications...It relies upon the complex interweaving of language, gesture and expression to ensure that you get your message across."

"It could be worse, the new cabinet does want to make the public aware of social workers roles."

"We should have seen it coming...As soon as they started talking about class sizes of 70, it was inevitable that they'd be looking at us next!"