Social Networking Devotee Gifts

". . . Do you both like and subscribe. . ."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

Networking

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

Digital Fomo!

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

Bird Tweet.

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

Obsession with the Internet.

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"You've got computer-breath."