Social Media Devotee Gifts

"But I wasn't texting officer. I was tweeting."

"Quick, before the shock wave hits."

"Oh, say you can't see, any conflicts of interest in me! What's good for my brand, is now the law of the land! And the crooked media's nasty glare, my killer tweets bursting in air... Gave proof to the news cycle, that I'm so awesome it's almost unfair!..

King Trump on his Twitter Throne

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

Obsession with the Internet.

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

Digital Fomo!

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"You've got computer-breath."

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Ice shelfie.

Trick or Tweet

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!