Social Media Scribe Gifts

Trump and social media

I should be a writer when I grow up...

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"This is off our first TikTok."

Alexander Pope

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

'Nothing about equal opportunity?'

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

"Don't forget to come back."

'It's the new directive from Brussels. We're to steal from everybody and give directly to the banks.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

Tall tales, short stories

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

'Precise, analytical and beautifully reasoned address. Now condense it down to a snappy sports metaphor.'

"It's bad enough seeing his vacation movies - he's gotta charge admission!"

Trolling on social media

'My drawings on the fridge are nice, but my video of grandmom putting them there just went viral!'

"Buying stuff online has rekindled Sean's literary ambitions. They're always asking for customer reviews."

A Quick Guide to Our New Post-Truth Political Era.

"I guess that I just made a career change from novelist to ghost writer."

"I didn't know Don Quixote was a republican."