Social Media Scribe Gifts

Trump and social media

I should be a writer when I grow up...

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Noel Coward.

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"This is off our first TikTok."

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

Alexander Pope

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

"Don't forget to come back."

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'Nothing about equal opportunity?'

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

'It's the new directive from Brussels. We're to steal from everybody and give directly to the banks.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

Modern publishing.

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

Tall tales, short stories

No caption. (Rowers carry an oar in four briefcases).

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

'Precise, analytical and beautifully reasoned address. Now condense it down to a snappy sports metaphor.'

'My drawings on the fridge are nice, but my video of grandmom putting them there just went viral!'

Like Buttons

'Wait a minute...you know I can't enjoy any experience until I've added dramatic flourishes and posted it on Facebook.'

Journalism

"It's bad enough seeing his vacation movies - he's gotta charge admission!"

Trolling on social media

A Quick Guide to Our New Post-Truth Political Era.

"Buying stuff online has rekindled Sean's literary ambitions. They're always asking for customer reviews."

Dear diary, I have to make this quick. I think my blog is onto us.

"I didn't know Don Quixote was a republican."