Satirical Scribe Gifts

'It's the new directive from Brussels. We're to steal from everybody and give directly to the banks.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"We were hit by tycoons."

Hollywood Writers Strike

"I'm not a real doctor, because I was I'd be sued for telling you this about Verocyl."

"I didn't know Don Quixote was a republican."

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

"Can you hear me now?"

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Monkey Business College

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

Suburban street.

Alexander Pope

"Listen, kid - in the real world, great power comes with no responsibility whatsoever."

'Sire, the peasants say you're just using them.'

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

Join the protest march, I'm lonely.

Thomas Carlyle

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

The Cartoonist's armoury