Satirical Scribe Mugs

'It's the new directive from Brussels. We're to steal from everybody and give directly to the banks.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"We were hit by tycoons."

Hollywood Writers Strike

"I'm not a real doctor, because I was I'd be sued for telling you this about Verocyl."

"I didn't know Don Quixote was a republican."

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

What Could Go Wrong?

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

"Can you hear me now?"

"The amendments are coming next week!"

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

'Sire, the peasants say you're just using them.'

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

Alexander Pope

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Monkey Business College

Suburban street.

"Listen, kid - in the real world, great power comes with no responsibility whatsoever."

'... and make it look like an accident.'

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

Join the protest march, I'm lonely.

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

Thomas Carlyle