Social Media Milestone Gifts

'Giles has got his first follower on Twitter so we thought we'd have a few people round for drinks, just a small celebration...'

"Honey! Our 15 minutes of fame has been reduced to an unflattering gif on Twitter!"

"Good game."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

City Marathon.

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

Babies first words are 'Take me to your leader'

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

Bluesky helicopter evacuation from X

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

First Steps

"Should we take pics of our feed for Instagram?"

"It makes you look old."

A very fine vintage

Like.

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

Facebook/Meta

A writer types onto a long sheet of paper.

Proud parents take a photo of their potty-trained child.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

'I am so proud son: It was such an amazing first coak-a-doodle-do!'

'Look, he's taking his first steps.'

"The baby is one thing - but how does the plant get more likes than me?"

'She's just done her first tweet.'

Time is like an hourglass: today is short.

"Oh Darling, I'm so proud! Your first dam!"

"This could be the year someone finally goes up there."

"Way to go, son."

'She was 50 years old and still didn't show her age...The same could not be said of her husband.'

'Harry, she just said her first words! She said, 'Why have you saddled my generation with the huge national debt?'