Significant Milestone Gifts

Dear diary, something momentous happened to me today, but it wasn't funny. Life-changing, yes; hilarious, no. So, bowing to pressure from certain parties who shall remain nameless

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Good game."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"We have an acronym!"

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Robots In The Boardroom

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Win - win

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

You said you wanted me to speak to the chairman of Hardcastle industries - I've just realised that's me.

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'